


oh, how I burn for you

by toofastforfreedom



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: AU, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jane Ramos (mention), Luisa loves her nieces, Solano who, it's actually Petra Andel and Rose Ruvelle, or I think so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 18:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14551044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toofastforfreedom/pseuds/toofastforfreedom
Summary: where there was fire, ashes remain.OR"and Allison thought it was a great idea to invite my ex to our wedding"





	oh, how I burn for you

**Author's Note:**

> one thing before you start: forget everything about their relationship, but don't forget they made love several times in a pool under the 4th of July fireworks.  
> So, I'm a Spanish girl who thinks she can write in English. I apologize for typos, i'm really trying.  
> Hope you like it!

She leaned on the railing and closed her eyes. All she wanted to do at that moment was crawling up the stairs to her own suite and cry under the blankets; but she didn’t know exactly why she was feeling like _that_. She inhaled a deep breath and hold it in her lungs until they burned, focusing only on that sensation. Exhaling the air slowly, she blinked and swallowed a lump in her throat fighting back tears.

She was angry; she was really angry at herself for not being happy on her own wedding day. She didn’t find anything or any reason to smile. She was confused and so tired of everything. She really needed to stop overthinking. She wanted to dive into the sea and let the waves decide for her. 

“I knew I would find you here…”

Listening to that voice for the first time after two years were like a sharp dagger in her chest, straight to the heart. She grabbed the railing and gripped it hard, her knuckles already white. She slowly opened her eyes, looking around the beach. She focussed on her breathing slowly and deeply, seeking out into her thoughts.

She wanted to hate her.

She needed to hate her.

But she couldn’t hate her. She tried to hate the redhead, but she never did it.

When she finally turned to face her, her eyes traveled on the woman, remembering pretty well all those freckles on her chest, arms and hands. She looked into her mesmerizing deep blue eyes and found herself smiling shyly.

“you knew it?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

Rose smirked and then nodded as she leaned on the same railing as Luisa, both of them seeing how the waves broke upon the beach. That was the first time in two years they were talking. That was the first time in two years they were all alone. That was the first time in two years they both fell into a comfortable silence full of thoughts and mixed feelings.

“You hate being the center of attention. Well ‘hate’ is not the correct word. You love celebrated but you always get nervous being the center of attention.” she smiled softly looking down at her. “I still remember the last party we spend together. You and me, hiding in my car while our friends were looking for you.” they both laughed, traveling back to that day.

That day her friends prepared a surprise party for her birthday, a great party full of sweet and nice people. She loved all of them and she appreciate the surprise, but she _really_ hated being the center of attention. So when she began to feel everyone's eyes were on her, she just disappeared without saying anything. She just needed five minutes alone without people asking her if she was okay. Five minutes that became two hours when Rose decided to join her in the car.

She felt guilty about wanting to go back to that day; she remembered pretty well how happy she was that night – and all others night before that party –, and she wanted it back so badly. She found herself chewing on her lower lip to stop herself from crying.

“are you okay?” the warmth of Rose’s voice broke Luisa’s heart into a million pieces.

Luisa didn't look at her; she didn't dare to look at her because she knew seeing her ocean blue eyes, she would just fall down the ground to cry. Salty tears clouded her vision, but she blinked rapidly to attempt to bid them away, but it caused for a few to roll down her cheeks.

“why are you crying?” it wasn’t the first time Rose saw her crying, and she _hated_ see her crying; so every time a tear rolled down her cheek she felt guilty for all the pain she caused her once. Luisa didn’t deserve this.

Not knowing if she was doing the right thing to help, Rose approached by Luisa, lightly touching her shoulder. She wanted to let Luisa know she was right there for her, like she always had been since they met. The light touch of her cool fingers over her sensitive skin caused goosebumps all over her body. Luisa felt alive and her head turned to look up at Rose as her eyes were veiled with tears. Frustration and rage… her chest was hurting from all of them.

Her voice was gone, so she couldn’t speak as much as she tried to force noise from her lips. Luisa sigh as she closed her eyes having her own tears down her face.

“I–I don’t k–know… it’s just…” Luisa whispered, her full lower lip trembling, her hands finding their way to hide her face.

Luisa was broken, and seeing her like this seemed to stab Rose in the chest. This was supposed to be one of the happiest day of her life, and instead she was crying her eyes out. Rose circled her wrist and pulled her into a hug, stroking her hair as she whispered sweet nothings to her; and after all this time, for the first time, Luisa felt protected with a pair of freckled arms wrapping her trembling body.

Luisa buried her face in the crook of Rose’s neck, simply breathing in her familiar scent.

“she doesn’t deserve this…. She–she deserves to be happy…. I d–didn’t have to do this…” with every single word that came from Luisa’s lips, there was a light kiss on Rose's neck.

Resting against her shoulder, Luisa kept her face hidden while whispering things Rose couldn’t understand.

“hey Luisa, look at me.” Not letting her go, Rose lifted up her chin to face her. Her puffy red eyes totally betrayed her at this moment. “What happen?” She couldn’t hide the grief lacing her voice. Seeing Luisa like _this_ made Rose regret every word; she felt like she just ruined her day.

Luisa couldn’t keep her eyes fixed on Rose. She wanted so badly to put words together so she could talk but she couldn’t. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, wrapping again her arms tight around Rose’s waist, holding her close, begging for her to stay with every sob. Luisa was close, and Rose held her very tight, gently playing with her hair while kissing her temple. The redhead’s eyes began to water as she remembered the last time she saw Luisa crying like that.

They didn’t know how long they had been like this, they both crying her fears and regrets away; her hands gripping tight their bodies, feeling _safe_. But a male voice, shouting with relief, broke out the pace between them. Rose and Luisa gasped and quickly tear apart, her red eyes burning with tears.

“Luisa! You’re here, your wife is looking for you!”

Luisa hid her face in her hands, wiping away her tears, avoiding the look of her friend. Luisa took a deep breath, looking at her hands. She felt ashamed for crying in front of Rose, so she started walking away from the redhead.

 “wait…” Rose grabbed her arm and turned her so that she could look into her eyes. Luisa looked up at her, chewing on her bottom lip. Gentle, Rose wiped Luisa’s tears, kissing her forehead. “Everything will be alright.” 

 

;;

 

Rose thought about leaving without saying anything; just run away from all of this to stop herself of doing something stupid. She was shaking and felt dizzy. Rose wanted to go inside, where people were laughing and enjoying the party, and tell Luisa _how much_ she loved her. But no matter how hard she tried, Rose couldn’t move. Her feet were tied to the ground and her hands were gripping harder the railing.

She was a cocktail of different emotions and feelings, and while she knew she couldn't confess Luisa that she felt sick when she saw her and her wife kissing, or just holding hands, she was burning with desire to tell Luisa everything she was feeling right now. But no, she knew she can't hurt Luisa like that again, because all of this situation, all of what she was feeling, was Rose fault. Now she had to face her fears without Luisa and live knowing she messed up the best thing that happened to her in her life.

She was crying, the third time in one day, and she never cried.

She was feeling like an idiot, letting her heart broke every time she imagined how things could have been if she had never left. But when she was ready to leave to hide under the covers and make it all go away, she heard a beautifully melodic laugh. Rose’s face lighted up. She wiped all her tears and pursed her lips into a smile when she saw Luisa playing with her nieces.

Rose let out a small laugh, looking at the twins, who jumped on Luisa, dropping onto the sand. She remembered the night they spend looking after Ellie and Anna; the night that she couldn't sleep with Luisa because the brunette fall asleep with the twins in their bed. Her heart pumped hard remembering the morning after when instead of waking up with a good morning kiss, she woke up with the sound of the twins jumping around her while Luisa was chuckling at the foot of the bed.

“It's freezing, are you not cold?” a familiar voice woke up her from her thoughts. She leaned her head, still smiling, and saw Petra with two glasses of wine and a shawl over her shoulders.

“no, I’m fine.” She accepted the glass of wine murmuring a soft thank you.

The first time she met Petra, she told Luisa that Petra deserved better than her brother, and they both agreed. The morning Petra called them to tell Luisa and Rose she was going to divorce Rafael, they both supported her and helped her in everything. Two years ago, Petra called Rose to tell her she was getting married to a woman, and Rose couldn't contain the joy. Petra was a fierce, powerful woman who didn't let fear overcome her. She was one of the best friends Rose had, and Rose was so grateful Petra didn't turn her back on their friendship when she left.

“the twins only laugh like that when Luisa is around.” She smiled playing with her wedding ring on her finger.

“yeah… she’s perfect…” she mumbled with a sigh.

Both of them fell into a comfortable silence, losing their self in the laughters that filled up the space. Anna and Ellie were rolling around the sand while Luisa tickled them. Rose found herself smiling, biting down her bottom lip just a little. Just hearing Luisa laughing like that, seeing her enjoying rolling around the sand with her nieces, was enough for Rose to forget the pain.

“do you miss her?”

Petra broke the silence, looking at Rose just for a second before returning her eyes on her daughters. Petra knew the answer, of course she did. There was no secret in the way Rose looked at Luisa. Rose ran her fingers through her hair, looking down at the ground, trying to swallow a painful lump in her throat before speaking softly.

“a lot…” she cleared throat, smiling sadly at Petra.

“I’m so sorry, Rose…” she covered her hand with hers, squeezing it softly, telling her, without words, she was there for everything she needed.

Rose really appreciated that gesture on Petra; lately, she was feeling so alone, surrounded by so many people that she felt she couldn't tell anyone what she was feeling, because she was the only one who made the decision to leaving, she was the only who broke up with Luisa, she was the only who hurt her. And knowing she could trust on Petra made Rose have to hold up her tears, because she didn’t like cry.

Well, she wasn't used to let people see her cry; she didn't want to people saw her pain and her vulnerability; she didn't want people to feel sorry for her. And the first time Luisa saw Rose crying was the day she found out her dad passed away. The heartbreaking cry made Luisa ran towards the redhead to hold her tight to kept her from falling down. And that day, when Luisa held her shaking body while she was crying in Luisa's neck, was the day Rose knew she was _deeply_ in love with the brunette.

Too focused on her thought to be in the real world, she didn't notice the twins were around her legs until Petra talked.

“we are going to say bye to dad and we are going to go home, okay?” she said to her daughters.

“are you leaving now?”

Rose's heart stopped beating when she heard Luisa. She turned around to see Luisa pouting with her shoes in one hand. Those deep brown eyes stopped on Rose, and still ashamed of crying before, Luisa smile softly at her. Rose felt about to combust herself. It was ridiculous how nervous she felt right now, she wasn't a teenager anymore, why she was behaving like one?

“I have to, Jane has promised the girls to go to the theme park tomorrow.” The girls shouted excitedly, letting their mother say goodbye to Rose and Luisa.

Rose's heart was like a drum, it was beating so fast that she thought Luisa could heard it. The redhead didn't know what to do or what to say; she was playing nervously with her hands, running her fingers through her hair, never looking at Luisa more than five seconds, while the brunette was busy trying to not fall down as she put her high heels. It was an awkward situation; neither of them ever wanted to leave, but both too scared to talk first.

“can we talk?”

Luisa finally found the encouragement she needed to break the silence. She wasn't proud about the scene she caused before, she really felt so stupid for crying on her shoulder, and as much as she _liked_ Rose's neck, that day wasn't the perfect day to hide her tears in there. She needed to apologize to Rose. The redhead followed her through footbridge. Once they were sitting down, they both fixed their eyes on the horizon. There was silence, a beautiful one, and the moonlight provided them a perfect intimacy.

“I’m really sorry about before… I don’t know what happened to me.” She said chewing in her bottom lip as she looked down at her feets.

“hey, you don't have to apologize for anything, I'm here for you.” Rose covered her hand with hers; she was serious, she would do _anything_ for Luisa.

Luisa looked up at Rose, smiling as she was interlacing their fingers with hers. Rose glanced down at their hands, a shy smile settling on her face. They stared deeply into each other’s eyes, feeling the world was falling apart under their feet. And suddenly, nothing else mattered. All the pain, all the sufer, all the tears through the two years was disappearing while Rose carefully rubbed soft circles against Luisa's palm.

Outside they found chaos, and in their eyes, they found calm.

Luisa bit her lip as her eyes looked down at Rose's lips, feeling the urge to kiss them. The redhead felt dying when she realized Luisa was softly, pusing her towards her. Rose's other hand found the way to cup her cheek. Neither of them were aware of what was happening, but _wanted_ it so bad.

“It seems like you run away from me!”

Luisa froze, quickly releasing Rose's hand, moving away from her. She turned her head around to see her wife walking down the footbridge. It was dark enough to see anything from that distance, it was impossible for Allison to had seen something between them. Luisa stood up before her wife was there as Rose remain sitting. They say hello to each other with a closed mouth kiss. Rose stood up to see Allison's arm wrapping Luisa's waist, nudging her nose against Luisa's neck before kissing it. She couldn't handle this. She checked her wristwatch for avoiding seeing Allison's hands over the brunette's body.

“I'm going home.”

“sure?”

Allison's hands were everywhere over Luisa's body. The brunette tried to stop her wife by grabbing her hand, but Allison was very persistent with the kisses. Rose nodded, biting her tongue hard. She didn’t want to leave, not now. Rose wanted to ask Luisa about what would have happened if Allison had never appeared, but probably the best decision right now was leaving. Luisa let go of Allison's hand as Rose gave her a tight long hug. The brunette wrapped her arms around her waist fleetingly while Rose wished her all the happiness in her new life. Luisa closed her eyes, _everything should have been different_ , she thought.

Rose left before Allison and Luisa started making out. She walked with her head down, all the frustration and rage on her shoulders, hitting hard. Worst of all was she didn't know when she could see Luisa again. That was her biggest fear, not to seeing Luisa again. 

 

;;

 

Luisa @ 10:59 AM

I would kill for a coffee right now, are you busy?

She sighed as she pressed the send button. She rubbed at her temple, her eyes closing momentarily as the exhaustion were catching up to her. Luisa was tired, _really_ tired, and the amount of papers on her table made her groan and roll her eyes in annoyance. That was the second day she was at work after her honeymoon, and she already knew she wouldn't get home until midnight. She loved her job, but sometimes it was too much.

Petra @ 11:02 AM

Not at all, come to my place?

Luisa jumped off the chair, taking off her white coat and grabbing the car keys. The lab could survive without her for a few hours. Petra was no longer her sister-in-law, but since the divorce, she enjoyed spending time with her. And when Rose broke up with her, letting her feel alone, she found on Petra the person she really needed. She knocked the door, as always, waiting with a big smile for the twins to open it.

“where are Ellie and Anna?” she asked, furrowing her brows when Petra opened the door.

“Hello you too.” she said, trying to hide her smile. “I was not feeling well, so Jane took them to the beach.”

Petra gave her a light hug, letting her come in. They both sat down at the table in front of the balcony, stirring their coffee without talk, letting the breeze blow. That was typically in their meeting routine with her, before the coffee, neither of the two spoke despite Luisa had a lot of things to tell. Petra noticed the tiny white stripe on her shoulders and smirked.

“So…how was your honeymoon?” she grinned as she cupped her mug between her hands

It was about time. Luisa looked up, licking her lips and hitting her spoon on her cup. She wanted to talk; well, she _needed_ to talk about it, but she didn’t know where to start. Her head was boiling with a lot of things right now.

“Amazing.” She lied. Luisa didn’t want to worry so she forced a smile upon her lips.

But they had known each other for years now, and it was very difficult to lie to Petra. She tilted her head as she looked at her, her brows furrowing slightly. Luisa breathed wearily, sipping at her coffee, avoiding over the rim of her mug that Petra look.

“okay, it was like hell.” She leaned back in the chair with as she let out an anguished sigh.  “don’t give me that look, please.” Luisa crossed her arms over her chest, biting her lip, shaking her leg and waiting for Petra to say something.

“what happened?” She asked softly, trying to be more close to Luisa by leaning forward over the table.

“we didn't stop arguing.”  She let out a deep sigh. “At first, it bothered me, but three days later, I was like, here we go again.” She ran her fingers through her hair, looking at her shoes as she spoke. “And the funny thing is, I don't even know why we were arguing.” Her brows raised as she shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her coffee.

Petra looked genuinely concerned. She had seen that look in Luisa’s eyes before, she was very familiar with the sad smile in her face, and she could remember seeing the same eyes bags two years ago… Petra was scared to see Luisa fall in a dark deep hole again.

“Luisa, please, tell me… are you happy?” When she said she was going to help her and support Luisa in _everything_ , she really mean it. But first of all, she needed to know if the brunette was doing well.

It was a simple question: yes or not. Easy, but difficult at the same time. She felt so useless for not being able to respond a stupid question like that. She leaned forwards, placing her elbows on the table, resting her head on her palms, never looking up.

“I don't know, Petra, I'm...” She rubbed her face with both of her hands, “I mean, I have reason to be happy, but I don’t know… right now, I'm struggling with a lot feeling and I don't know if what I'm feeling is right or is just wrong.” She looked up at her, her eyes filled with tears, her voice already broken. “I’m so confused Petra, and I’m scared to find out that I’m not happy with her…”

“It’s okay, Luisa. Try to relax, close your eyes and breath. I’m here for you, I’m not going anywhere.”

Luisa looked deeply into Petra’s eyes. She nodded and made what Petra was saying to her as murmuring a soft thank you with her eyes still closed. The room was filled with silence until Luisa found herself talking again.

“I had spent a year crying under my covers and waiting for a call that didn't come, and when Allison came into my life was like fresh air. I was happy back then, she made my pain more less sharp, she helped me to forget, to forgive and to laugh again.” She was talking with a smile while her tears rolling down over her cheek. “But the truth is I don’t know why I said yes when she proposed to me… I loved her, yes, but everything was going too fast.”  She took off her ring, putting it on the table.  “And then, I saw her… two weeks before my wedding, I saw her in the fucking supermarket, and Allison thought it was a great idea to invite my ex to our wedding… My heart stopped, and all the feelings that I thought I had overcome, hit me with the force of a hurricane.”  She stood up, turning her back to Petra.  “My world fall and I realized I was still deeply in love with her. I spent all my wedding crying like an idiot, because every time I kissed Allison, I was thinking of Rose… And when I said _I do_ , I was saying it to Rose, but she didn’t was with me…”

Luisa bit her nails. She didn’t add a single word, there was nothing more to say at the moment, just letting Petra process all what she said. Luisa felt the weight on her shoulders was slightly less heavy that before. Speaking her thoughts out loud made all the situation real. She was so in love with Rose… she didn’t be happy with Allison…

“why you continued with the wedding?” Petra wasn’t judging her. She knew this was difficult, and she was really proud of Luisa for open up.

“because I wanted to prove myself that I was over Rose, but I failed. And now I’m making Allison miserable because I’m living a life I don’t want.”

Luisa couldn’t help herself and started crying desperately, everything right now was painful. She never thought love could hurt like that, like a thousand knife sunk in her chest. Why when she had everything under control a whirlwind fucked up her life?

“Luisa, listen to me.”  With a finger pressed against her chin, Petra tilted her head to force her to look up. “You don’t have to hide how you feel to keep others happy. It’s time to put yourself first, you deserve it. The Luisa I know is a strong and powerful woman who never gives up. Please, let that Luisa return, _for you_.”

Luisa sobbed, tears escaping her eyes and rolling down her cheeks as her hands were shaking. She knew Petra didn’t like hugs, but she needed someone to hold on. She was crying all her repressed feelings, and as much as it hurt, she felt relieved.

“I–I just wa-want to be ha–happy.”

“I know… and you know how to be. Just, go for it.” Petra encouraged her.

Later that night, a bit calmer, she texted Petra.

Luisa @ 11:05 PM

Hey, can you text me the new Rose address, please?

 

;;

 

She crossed her arms around her elbow on the table as her hide her head between them. With every deep breath she took, her eyes fell close slowly. Lately, Rose hadn't been sleeping too well. It was always around this time of year when she thought too much, and now, it was worse, because since the wedding, Luisa was around her head _all the time_. When she closed her eyes, she was there, beautiful as always, brushing her hair behind her ear with a small smile on her face.

She missed her so much.

Once, her father told her that love left a bitter taste, an empty yet heavy feeling in chest, and he was right. She never felt so empty, she never thought this could be so hard for her. She tried to forget Luisa, she really tried, and for that reason she always fell asleep with her thumb hovering over a familiar number. She tried to forget her hands, her laugh, her raspy voice in the morning, her pouts when she was sleepy; she tried so hard to forget the way Luisa had to bit her own lip, the way Luisa had to look at her... But she failed over and over, and over again…

She sighed rubbing her eyes under her glasses as she took deep breaths. Her eyes burned with exhaustion but she had to work. Rose had spent one week procrastinating, but she couldn't run away from her responsibilities anymore, the amount of papers on her desk was truly scary. Rose thrown her hair up into a messy bun as she read one of the papers of her table. At least, while she was working, she didn't have time to think… well, or she believed that. Yawning, playing with the pen between her fingers, she tried to concentrate on the case she was reading when a knock on her door made her jump out her chair.

Her eyebrows furrowed while she unlocked her phone to check the time; she rubbed her temples, who would be on the door at 9pm, she thought whilst groaning. She continued sticking notes in the margins, ignoring the knock. Today, she was not for anyone. But another persistent knock hit her door, this time more confidently. Rose closed her eyes as she clenched her jaw, she was trying to work, dammit. As she made her way to the door, she rubbed the back of her neck rolling her eyes every time she heard another knock. Rose, fuming mad, opened the door, and as she saw who was behind it, she let her jaw fall to the ground.

“have you had dinner?”

Luisa was standing right in front of her, holding up a takeaway bag from that _particular_ restaurant. She grinned ear to ear, flushed with delight when she saw Rose's eyes widened in surprise with a small smiling playing on her lips. The redhead shook her head, she wasn't able to speak out, she was sure that words wouldn't come out her mouth. Her heart pounded in excitement as Luisa came into her house. Rose didn't know what was happening and she was too amazed to ask.

“you’re dripping.”

“what?!” Luisa's face turned red, her gaze already following to where Rose’s index was pointing. “Oh my god, sorry.” She gasped, looking down at the bag.

It had been two weeks since Petra texted her the new Rose address, but she hadn't tried to go to her house until today. Once in Rose building, she spent about thirty minutes in front of her door, thinking of what to say to her. She was really proud how relaxed she seemed five minutes ago, but now Luisa wanted to dig herself a hole and hide for that _misunderstanding_. Rose giggled as she came towards Luisa to grab the dripping bag to put it on the kitchen counter. Luisa followed her, looking around; Rose’s apartment was small and simple, but it had that familiar air which reminded her all the nights they spent together.

Rose, with her back to Luisa, was already setting the table, thinking the best way to behave so as not to look like a tingling with excitement. She didn't know why Luisa was there, in her house, asking her to dinner together, after everything that happened but she was happy Luisa was there anyway.

“you had missed me?”

Rose tensed up when she heard Luisa. Her heart pumped with adrenaline and, not thinking twice, she turned to face her, ready to answer that question. But as soon as she was ready to shake out of her head everything she was feeling, she saw Luisa, kneeling on the floor, petting her cat.

“because I have missed you so much.”

Rose leaned in, with one hand on the back of the chair, smiling wildly. She was over the moon just seeing Luisa playing with her cat as if nobody else was around there. Luisa noticed Rose was looking at her and looked up to look the redhead in the eyes. They held their gaze just for seconds, enough for Luisa licking her lips and Rose chewing in her lower lip. They both felt a thousand butterflies in their stomach, and if it wasn't because the rain was hitting hard the windows, they could hear their heart throbbing loudly.

Despite the palpable – sexual – tension, the dinner was really nice. They both fell into a deep but innocent conversation that seemed like there was no end. It had already been two hours since, but it felt like only seconds. The world was spinning fast that night, and that was so _unfair_ … Now, both were sitting on the couch with a cup of tea. Rose, sitting on her side with her hand holding her head, listening to Luisa carefully, her eyes never felling from her as Luisa was talking passionately, resteding her back comfortably on the arm of the sofa, with the cup between her hands.

“so, how is Allison?”

It was not like Rose cared about her at all, but she was just curious Luisa hadn’t mentioned her all night. But quickly, she regretted asking that question as she noticed how Luisa hung her head in disappointment.

“she left… three days ago.” Luisa looked from her cup to Rose's face, shrugging her shoulders.

“what?” She was green with envy the day she met Allison at the supermarket, of course she was; and she also felt like a knife was pierced through the heart when she saw Luisa kissing her on her wedding day; but she couldn't understand why Allison did such a thing like that.

“on Tuesday, I walked in home and she wasn't in. I waited for her, but she didn't come. Her clothes were not in the closet, so neither her things... so yeah, she left.” She said simply, moving her legs closer to her chest.

“I’m so sorry, Luisa…” Rose put her hand on her knee, giving it a little sequeeze

“don’t be, it’s better this way.”  She smiled shyly looking at Rose's hand, running her fingers through her hair. She didn't seem sad, just a little disappointed but _relieved_. Luisa didn't blame Allison for leaving, the truth was that, she understood why she had gone.

They fell into a silence, both of them thinking about the best way to continue talking. Rose thought about open up her feelings to Luisa, but she was afraid to ruin more the situation

 “and how about you, how is your brother? He is eighteen now, right?”  Luisa said, trying to kill that sharp silence.

“yeah, he is great; in college now.”  Rose sat properly, only turning her head to look softly at Luisa, a small smile on her face, before looking forward.

“so, I guess your relationship with him is better now, huh?” She tilted her head slightly, just for seeing Rose chuckled a bit.

“I think so… I mean, at first there were _many_ fights.” She bit down on her nails before talking again. “With our dad passing away and my step-mother just being herself, I went to Connecticut to be her mum and not her sister… And he was not happy with that.” She looked at Luisa with a sad smile.

“I could have helped you.” She cleared her throat. “I… could have gone with you...” Luisa’s smile fell, her lip already trembling, at this point her voice was a whisper.

“I know, Lu…” She was feeling already a wrenching pain in the way Luisa's eyes were looking at her “but I didn't wanted you to come...”

“why” Luisa’s voice broke, her eyes filled with tears.

“because…” Rose sighed, thinking about the best way to say it “When he called and told me everything, you had just opened your own clinic, the hospital lab had accepted your investigation work that day and you were living _your dream_ … I didn't want you to lose all you had for me…”

“and that's why you broke up with me?” She broke down into tears, looking at her deep into the eyes.

“yes...” Was heart-rending to see her crying.

Rose never said out loud the reason she broke up with her, and after hearing it, Luisa felt rage boiling in her veins. They held each other’s gaze, both fighting with that tight lump in their throats.

“Rose, you didn't even call.” She couldn't handle it, she was angry with Rose for her deciding the best for her life without consulting her. Luisa got herself up from the couch, walking away the redhead, who was hiding her face between her hands.

“I tried, Luisa!” She got desperate, also getting up from the couch, following Luisa over her apartment. The table like a border between them. “But I knew that if I called you once, I would beg you to come with me and I would never have forgiven myself you leaving your family, _your life_ , for me.”

“ _joder_ , Rose! After five years dating and you didn't know that I would have gone straight to hell for you, because you made me happy. Rose, you were my family, you were my everything!”

She didn't even look at Rose. She was on her back with her arms crossed on her chest, tears rolling down her cheeks as the drops of water slid down the window. She was shaking and Rose felt the pain shoot right to her head with every sob. She felt her eyes watering remembering all the nights she just dig herself in her bed, crying silently, regretting her decision to leave Luisa, remembering all the nights thinking about the brunette, rememebering how deep in love she was with her.... She had enough of all those days, she was tired of trying to forget her.

“breaking up with you was the hardest decision i have ever made never, because I love you Luisa, _I had always loved you_.” Rose walked around the table to get behind Luisa. She felt beads of cold sweat were dripping down her spine as Luisa faced her, her deep brown eyes seeing the truth in her words. The world stopped and in her mind, her thoughts were fighting against Rose.

“Luisa, I―” That was all she could say before she was interrupted by Luisa's lips all over her.

Luisa was on tiptoe, cupping her cheeks, kissing Rose’s lips firmly. It felt as quickly as it came, Rose already tangling her fingers in her hair, kissing her back tenderly. As soon as their lips met they melted into the kiss, it felt so natural.

Luisa slided a hand up to Rose's neck, her thumb caressing her jaw as Rose smiled shyly against her lips. Luisa couldn't help herself, and let her tongue slowly brush her lower lip. Rose gasped, opening her mouth slightly, poking her tongue with hers lightly, her arms already wrapping her hips holding her even closer.

Luisa missed Rose's kisses so much, more than she was willing to admit. Her tongue slowly moved along her tongue, stroking her neck softly. They deepened the kiss, both of them hungry for each other, as Luisa hand rested on her hips, pushing Rose slowly against the wall. A small moan left Rose lips as her back hit the wall.

Luisa finally broke the kiss, resting her forehead against her, as their lungs burned for air. She was quiet for a moment before pressing her lips on her neck, sucking on her pulse point. Rose head tilted up with her eyes closed, biting down her lower lip as she pulled Luisa _impossibly closer_ by her waist. Outside, the rain was pounding the window and inside, their hearts pumped with lust.

Luisa's hands traveled down her sides and settled on her waist before moving to her own belt. As Rose felt Luisa's hands working on it, she grabbed her wrist to push them away. Luisa looked up at Rose, breathing heavy, biting her lip and letting Rose undone her buckle as her fingers already were dancing on her button, working open the redhead pants.

Their pants tangled on the floor, and they just needed more. More of everything but enjoying it. Luisa ran her finger along the hem of her panties, her lips hovering over hers, pulling away slightly with a grin every time Rose tried to kiss her, pushing her back into the wall by her shoulders. Luisa smirked, her forehead against her

“don't you remember how it works?”

Luisa kissed her parting her lips with her tongue. Rose chuckled as she was _finally_ kissing her, and moved her hands down to grab her ass tightly, at the same time she was walking forward moving away from the wall. Her hands went down to her thighs as she lifted her up and as if it was like a dance, Luisa wrapped her legs around her waist.

As soon as Luisa’s back hit the mattress, Rose covered her with her body, her lips on her neck, sucking and nipping softly as Luisa slipped her hands inside the back of her shirt, running her hand up and down slowly feeling her soft skin, gasping everytime Rose did _that_ with her tongue. Things were getting slow for Luisa, who changed the positions. Rose breath escaped as she smirked. She really missed the brunette. Luisa straddled Rose, starting working on the first buttons of her own blouse as Rose fingers working on the last button of it. They never stopped looking at each other in the eyes until Luisa's blouse was completely open.

Luisa blushed deeply, pushing her blouse off of her shoulders, it felt like their very first time and she was nervous and Rose could tell it by the way she looked at her. The redhead sat on the bed, grabbing Luisa's waist and making her sit on her lap. Rose took off her own shirt, leaning to kiss her softly, though her lips, soon trailed away, down her neck and over her shoulder and her chest, leaving soft little kisses. She moved one of her hands behind Luisa's back to unclip her bra.

They both stared at each other, sweat sliding down their backs, as their hands caressed every inch of their skin. They had missed each other very much, and neither of them could believe what was happening. Luisa licked her lip, her fingertips counting the old and new freckles on Rose body, already unclipping her bra, while Rose got lost in Luisa eyes. Rose tangled her fingers in Luisa's hair, making her look down at her. She was beautifully perfect.

“you really want this?” She whispered

Luisa smiled, stroking her cheeks, leaning towards Rose, kissing her softly.

“I really want this.”

And just like this, they kissed until their lungs gasped for air, filling the room with moans, breathings, gasps and whispers, theirs fingers touching their emotions, their lips helping them forget the time they were apart.

Hours later, they both collapsed on the bed, breathing heavily, all sweaty and just feeling in heaven. The sheets were tangled at the foot of the bed. Rose had her hand on her forehead, her eyes closed, really trying to fill her lungs with air again, and Luisa was smiling wildly, chuckling as she heard Rose, turning her head on the pillow to see her. Luisa hid her head between Rose's shoulder and her neck, her _favorite_ place.

“hey, come back.” She whispered into her ear, biting lightly on her earlobe before kissing her cheek and then her lips. Luisa straddled her again, kissing gently her neck, before looking up to see the redhead.

Rose opened her eyes, filled with tears, still trying to recover breathing. She stared into her eyes, nodding as she moved a hand to brush a strand of hair behind her ear, her fingers gently caressing over her cheekbone, Luisa already leaning down to kiss her softly.

“I… I never wanted to break up with you, Lu…” Rose closed her eyes, letting Luisa wiped away her tears. “I never wanted to hurt you, Luisa, please, forgive me.” As she said that, her tears rolled down her cheek without shame.

“hey, Ro, it's okay, it's alright. I _forgive_ you.”  Luisa felt her own tears as she leaned down to kiss Rose forehead, stroking her hair softly. “Just promise me one thing.”

Rose opened her eyes, Luisa's face inches from hers

“next time make sure you tell me before making a decision that affects both of us.”  Luisa kissed the tip of her nose, slowly she moved to kiss along her jaw, whispering in her ear “okay?”

Rose smiled, feeling goosebump all over her body, cupping the brunette's cheeks, making Luisa look at her. She nodded, biting her own lip, thinking how luckly she was.

“I love you so much, Luisa.” Her eyes saying more than her words. “So much.”

“I love you too, Rose.” She kissed her, feeling happier than ever. “You don’t know how much.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've always thought when Luisa is angry, or upset she speaks in Spanish.  
> joder = shit, fuck, damnit....... in fact, you can use that word in any situation.  
> leave kudos if you like it, and if you want to make happy a tired college student, leave a comment! (I will really appreciate it)


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